Kvotin(n)

I wonder if on a rainy night, the sandman sends the mudman. - George Carlin
Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease. - Bill Maher

Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've go a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash. - Jerry Seinfeld

I always loved comedy, but I never knew it was something you could learn to do. I always thought that some people are born comedians. Just like some people are born dentist. - Paul Reiser

I can't get a relationship to last longer than it takes to make copies of their tapes. - Margaret Smith

When you get married and have a kid, you can't do all those things you wanted to do as a young existentialist of seventeen or eighteen, like kill yourself. - Al Rae